What is a romance scam and how does it work?
Reading time 6 minutes
At a glance:
A romance scam is when someone pretends to be in a relationship with you so that they can trick you into giving them money.
Scammers are good liars so they can be hard to spot.
Knowing the signs can help you stay safe, especially as scammers now use AI tools to appear more convincing.
How does a romance scam work?
Romance scams often begin online. Social media platforms and dating sites make it easy for criminals to hide behind false profiles.
Scammers often spend weeks or months chatting, sharing stories and showing interest to create a sense of closeness.
Criminals make you feel like you’re in a real relationship by sending regular messages, voice notes or video clips. They may use AI generated photos, audio and video to make their fake identities even more convincing.
Once the scammer has built a relationship, they tell you they have a money problem. This could be a medical emergency, travel issues or business costs.
They may ask for bank transfers, gift cards, cryptocurrency or help making a payment on their behalf.
Some keep the relationship going for a long time so they can keep asking for money. If they get challenged, they may become defensive or disappear.
Romance scams are affecting more people
Anyone can fall victim to a romance scam and unfortunately it’s becoming more common. In the UK, the National Fraud Intelligence Bureau recorded 9,449 cases of romance scams in the 2024/25 tax year. That’s up by 9% on the previous year. Victims lost more than £106 million.
Using AI to carry out romance scams
AI and video editing tools can create very realistic results. These tools are becoming cheaper and more sophisticated so scammers are using them more often and they’re getting harder to spot.
Examples of romance scams
1. The overseas worker scam
Scammers often pretend to be someone who works abroad, which can explain long periods when they can’t meet or video call. Common romance scam jobs are:
Contractor
Humanitarian worker
Engineer
Oil worker
Military worker
Medical professional.
After building a rapport, the scammer tells you about an issue they’re having. This could be lost travel documents, unpaid work fees or an emergency medical bill for a family member. They say local banking systems are unreliable or claim they can’t access their accounts.
They might ask for money directly. Or they may manipulate you into offering to help. They may say this is only a loan that will be repaid later.
2. The investment romance scam
Sometimes called “pig-butchering”, this scam is focused on fake investments. Once the scammer has built a relationship, they introduce what looks like an investment opportunity. It’s often for cryptocurrency. They may share fake screenshots showing high returns.
You might be guided to a fake investment platform that looks real. But when you try to take money out, your withdrawal is blocked.
3. The sudden emergency scam
After forming a connection, the scammer claims a personal emergency, such as a medical accident, stolen belongings or a frozen bank account.
They ask for a one off loan. The scammer might promise to repay the money quickly.
4. Celebrity romance scam
A scammer pretends to be a famous person and tells you to keep your relationship secret. The real celebrity is often someone wealthy, so when the scammer asks for a ‘loan’ due to a cashflow problem, you feel reassured that you’ll get the money back. Instead, the scammer takes your money and may even ask for more.
Am I being romance scammed?
Hannah Bingle, our Financial Crime Lead, explains how romance scams work:
“When you're meeting people online, whatever the type of relationship, it can be very difficult to tell the difference between a genuine person and someone who is made up. Once you’ve invested time and trust in getting to know someone, the thought that that they might be lying, may not truly exist, or be working to scam you can be really upsetting.
Reflect on the wider pattern of the relationship beyond the individual messages. Scammers often have an answer ready for every question and their explanations can seem believable in the moment. But when you step back, things may not add up. Do they make repeated excuses not to meet? Are there inconsistencies in their stories? Or do they shift conversations towards their personal problems or finances?
Consider speaking to someone you trust, your account provider or a fraud support service. A second opinion can help you understand what’s really happening and decide what to do next.”
How to spot a romance scam
1. They avoid meeting in person
Scammers make excuses to not meet face-to-face. This could include long-distant jobs and sudden emergencies. Video calls may be repeatedly cancelled.
2. Their profile seems too polished
Photos may look professional or staged. A small number of images or no tagged photos on social media might show the identity is not genuine.
3. Conversations shift towards personal problems
Once trust is formed, scammers often talk about hardship, accidents or financial challenges. These stories set the stage for money requests later.
4. They talk about money problems
This may start subtly before turning into direct requests. Some examples include asking for help paying travel fees, business costs, medical bills or cryptocurrency transfers.
5. Their stories don’t add up
You may spot their lies when what they say isn't consistent or feels rehearsed. Stepping back from the conversation can help highlight patterns that feel off.
6. They come on strong, quickly
The conversation rapidly gets intense as they try to form a bond using flattery and declarations of love early in the communication.
7. They ask you to keep the relationship secret
Scammers know that once you talk through what’s going on with someone else, you could notice the flaws in the situation.
By asking you to not tell anyone about them, they’re trying to stop you questioning what’s going on and increasing the bond between you. It may be an exciting secret, but talking to trusted friends or family can keep you safe.
Report fraud and scams to YBS
Please contact us immediately by phone or visit your local branch if you are concerned:
You may have fallen victim to a scam
You may have disclosed any confidential information to an unknown third party
You believe a transaction on your account is fraudulent
You have become a victim of identity theft
You have any concerns about security.
The content on this page is for reference. It is not financial advice. For help with money issues, try MoneyHelper.
